god, where to begin? how can he pick up the clutter of emotions clashing in his mind, piece by piece, and attempt to dissect each one of them so they make fucking sense? it's impossible; they rushed in without any warning, and denji found himself unable to control the gutwrenching realization that those words will always remain a lovely lie. he can't even name a single person who stayed in his life long enough to make that a promise worth believing. yet, he found himself struggling a bit in— letting it go. it was dangerous to indulge in it, maybe torment himself by questioning if that could ever happen to him. it's bittersweet. more bitter, less sweet.
denji returned to picking at his food, keeping his head down. there are things he can't control, one of them is to stop feeling this shitty and heartbroken for himself, but he can shift that energy to where it matters— and it's protecting that lie. protecting bakugou. the hero said he's not going anywhere, so he'll make sure he won't go anywhere. the righteous act in this situation is to recognize his mere existence is fated to be the downfall of everyone denji will ever care for, and maybe it's time he keeps to himself and not drag anyone else into this hell, but he's not that valiant. he can't push away someone willing to be around him. someone who can help him forget, even for a few minutes the perpetual pain throbbing in his chest. even when those dreams constantly haunt him that he's 'unworthy', 'can never have a family', or 'can never be loved' - he is stubborn, or fucking desperate, enough to keep trying. that's his resolve, right? keep bakugou close, attempt to do a better job in keeping this one safe, and hope he won't have the same tragic end as everyone else in his life. yup, sounds super fitting for a scum like him.
back to the food, back to the singing in the shower, back to anything but thinking about this further. he takes in a breath, wiping his mouth clean with the back of his fingers. ]
For sure. I have years of experience in my resume. I might be an expert at this point.
[ it was a habit he picked up from when he was a kid and pochita seemed to love it, it made them both happy. they made up most of the songs together, but now that he's mingling with society better, denji knows some popular songs. it didn't mean he had a great voice, but - you know. the spirit is admirable. ]
The heating system still sucks, though. I'll steal an extra blanket from Yuuji later.
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god, where to begin? how can he pick up the clutter of emotions clashing in his mind, piece by piece, and attempt to dissect each one of them so they make fucking sense? it's impossible; they rushed in without any warning, and denji found himself unable to control the gutwrenching realization that those words will always remain a lovely lie. he can't even name a single person who stayed in his life long enough to make that a promise worth believing. yet, he found himself struggling a bit in— letting it go. it was dangerous to indulge in it, maybe torment himself by questioning if that could ever happen to him. it's bittersweet. more bitter, less sweet.
denji returned to picking at his food, keeping his head down. there are things he can't control, one of them is to stop feeling this shitty and heartbroken for himself, but he can shift that energy to where it matters— and it's protecting that lie. protecting bakugou. the hero said he's not going anywhere, so he'll make sure he won't go anywhere. the righteous act in this situation is to recognize his mere existence is fated to be the downfall of everyone denji will ever care for, and maybe it's time he keeps to himself and not drag anyone else into this hell, but he's not that valiant. he can't push away someone willing to be around him. someone who can help him forget, even for a few minutes the perpetual pain throbbing in his chest. even when those dreams constantly haunt him that he's 'unworthy', 'can never have a family', or 'can never be loved' - he is stubborn, or fucking desperate, enough to keep trying. that's his resolve, right? keep bakugou close, attempt to do a better job in keeping this one safe, and hope he won't have the same tragic end as everyone else in his life. yup, sounds super fitting for a scum like him.
back to the food, back to the singing in the shower, back to anything but thinking about this further. he takes in a breath, wiping his mouth clean with the back of his fingers. ]
For sure. I have years of experience in my resume. I might be an expert at this point.
[ it was a habit he picked up from when he was a kid and pochita seemed to love it, it made them both happy. they made up most of the songs together, but now that he's mingling with society better, denji knows some popular songs. it didn't mean he had a great voice, but - you know. the spirit is admirable. ]
The heating system still sucks, though. I'll steal an extra blanket from Yuuji later.