[is he worth it? is denji worth the challenges arising in their relationship, presenting themselves to bakugou in one gory or frustrating moment after another. splayed and grisly, a far cry from the perfect he image he likes to see himself in. a boy who wants to be a hero, a boy who wants to be loved, a boy who wants to be accepted even with his damaged self. he comes with baggage, he comes with issues, he comes with background, trials, pain. is he worth it? ... yeah. yes he is. bakugou took stock of everything and more when he realized his feelings for denji. a life with the half-devil would bring challenges, would drag his hand down his face, would vex and rankle him. he knew all these things, and accepted them. arguments, disagreements, knowing there would be things he'd never fully understand about his boyfriend, there would be places inside him bakugou would never be able to reach. he made his decision with his mind weighing heaps of "but's" and "you know's" and more he wouldn't know until later. and he still said yes. to his feelings, to denji's, to the "us" that became of their individual selves.
human, devil, hero, civilian, strange, normal, denji is denji, and denji is the man he loves. no matter how broken he is. so he reaches out and cups his cheek, smooths his thumb over flush skin under his eyes, cards his fingers through his shaggy hair (reminder to get that trimmed soon), and caresses the back of his neck as he leans in for a quiet kiss. promising though touch alone he's not going anywhere. denji will never be "too much" for him. even if they have to take some time to sit alone and let things vent. even if they don't see eye to eye. even if denji's heart slams in his ribs and he wants to scream at bakugou's world for abuses he sees. if he wants to talk about those things, he can, but all the same, there's hesitation on the hero's part to bring up everything right now. mostly because war remains fresh in his mind and he'd rather not go diving back in on either of their parts. later. when they have some time to rest and accept this.]
Heh. So where'd that pout come from when I pulled you away from the dessert bar last time? [a quiet tease. times he's seen denji's expression furrowed and his lower lip stick out. earlier moments when sex had to be put on hold. or a request to stay in bed longer gets rejected. yeah, he knows that's not the same disappointment denji spoke of just now. but he's going to poke at him even a smidgen for the sake of bringing his heart up in his sorrowful sea.]
Aa. We won. [there are places where he doesn't think it felt like they did. all for one died. shigaraki died. toga died. toya's on the road to death. jirou lost her ear. midoriya's arms were crushed. all might's body was wrecked. tokoyami and hawks were all but eviscerated. cities were demolished. land masses were torn asunder. their nation is scarred even as it begins to recover and the losses are tallied. they won, they have a society and nation to rebuild, not to the way it was, but to a way that's better for everyone. a burden no one symbol of peace can shoulder alone. victory... (oy, he's 17 too, you know, only three and a half months from 18.)
as denji slumps and his shoulders hunch, bakugou wraps his arm around the other boy's shoulders and neck, holding him close as they sit in bed together. listening to his words and feelings leaking out around the chokehold in denji's throat. their hands remain joined, resting close to denji's collar.] I'm sorry...
[of course he shouldn't apologize. it's not his choice to leave or stay. and yet, the guilt remains, knowing his disappearance tormented his boyfriend. leaving behind someone he cared about so much. what else could he say? anything sounds pithy and even dismissive. chiding him for not trusting he'd return is out the window. encouraging him to have faith if it happens again is foolish. reminding denji he vanished twice now as well is pointless due to the sheer speed at which he blinked out and returned. promising he wouldn't leave again is stupid. bakugou rests his head against denji's own.] I'm sorry I left you alone.
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human, devil, hero, civilian, strange, normal, denji is denji, and denji is the man he loves. no matter how broken he is. so he reaches out and cups his cheek, smooths his thumb over flush skin under his eyes, cards his fingers through his shaggy hair (reminder to get that trimmed soon), and caresses the back of his neck as he leans in for a quiet kiss. promising though touch alone he's not going anywhere. denji will never be "too much" for him. even if they have to take some time to sit alone and let things vent. even if they don't see eye to eye. even if denji's heart slams in his ribs and he wants to scream at bakugou's world for abuses he sees. if he wants to talk about those things, he can, but all the same, there's hesitation on the hero's part to bring up everything right now. mostly because war remains fresh in his mind and he'd rather not go diving back in on either of their parts. later. when they have some time to rest and accept this.]
Heh. So where'd that pout come from when I pulled you away from the dessert bar last time? [a quiet tease. times he's seen denji's expression furrowed and his lower lip stick out. earlier moments when sex had to be put on hold. or a request to stay in bed longer gets rejected. yeah, he knows that's not the same disappointment denji spoke of just now. but he's going to poke at him even a smidgen for the sake of bringing his heart up in his sorrowful sea.]
Aa. We won. [there are places where he doesn't think it felt like they did. all for one died. shigaraki died. toga died. toya's on the road to death. jirou lost her ear. midoriya's arms were crushed. all might's body was wrecked. tokoyami and hawks were all but eviscerated. cities were demolished. land masses were torn asunder. their nation is scarred even as it begins to recover and the losses are tallied. they won, they have a society and nation to rebuild, not to the way it was, but to a way that's better for everyone. a burden no one symbol of peace can shoulder alone. victory... (oy, he's 17 too, you know, only three and a half months from 18.)
as denji slumps and his shoulders hunch, bakugou wraps his arm around the other boy's shoulders and neck, holding him close as they sit in bed together. listening to his words and feelings leaking out around the chokehold in denji's throat. their hands remain joined, resting close to denji's collar.] I'm sorry...
[of course he shouldn't apologize. it's not his choice to leave or stay. and yet, the guilt remains, knowing his disappearance tormented his boyfriend. leaving behind someone he cared about so much. what else could he say? anything sounds pithy and even dismissive. chiding him for not trusting he'd return is out the window. encouraging him to have faith if it happens again is foolish. reminding denji he vanished twice now as well is pointless due to the sheer speed at which he blinked out and returned. promising he wouldn't leave again is stupid. bakugou rests his head against denji's own.] I'm sorry I left you alone.