[ considering they just recently started— well, actually talking to each other, sharing more of their painful past and grim future ahead, it might take time for them to understand how the other copes during the hard hours. despite that, denji isn't the type to push anyone away, if anything — he yearns to share his distress with another kind soul who could embrace him. desperately wanting to be loved. a boy who isn't shy to ask for help, to run after happiness in the face of a merciless world, isn't shy to admit weakness and his flaws, far too honest, open, and vulnerable to anyone who could handle him. denji didn't hide behind his anger, nor did he allow himself to drown in hatred - he still wanted to believe there was more in this life than pain. is there anyone out there who would accept the imperfections that came along with him? a lot of people won't, and he wouldn't blame them. they wouldn't want to hear it, harbor it, or be burdened with it. it's too much work. is he worth it? and yet, shameless as ever, he wants someone to take it, to love him the way he is, as the broken, damaged, fucked up mess of a human and devil ... and the person who took him in is bakugou. even if the hero gets frustrated at times that his efforts are unheard, they still reach denji's heart. they still mean the world to him.
maybe. maybe physical contact is a way to escape, but isn't it the same for everyone else? isn't it normal to want to be close to the people you love when you're hurting? seeking their touch and warmth to soothe the distress from within. it's only human. however, there is a thin line between seeking solace and creating a coping mechanism for suppressing emotions. that's where denji tends to struggle, though. unsure of that blurred gap between trying to calm yourself and repression, often interpreting feeling a bit 'better' means there is no need to talk about it when, in reality, this is the right time to bring it out. still learning traumatizing events don't really go away with time or distraction. no, they linger, and after a while, they start poisoning one's heart. they are not meant to be confined and ignored. yeah, that's — one thing denji has yet to understand. ]
Katsuki ... you could never disappoint me. [ his expression softens, sad, yet he had no intention of taking away bakugou's right to feel that way. just because he didn't agree with it doesn't mean they're not valid. he stayed quiet, taking a moment to think. bakugou's friends are alive; maybe they're not fully healed and thriving yet, but the hard part might be over. he shifts his gaze lower, staring over those wounds, then over his injured arm. ] You're not dead. You won.
[ yeah, took him long enough, but it hits him now. bakugou is so young, younger than him, and yet he had to go through a huge war with enemies who are arguably stronger and more vicious than him ... and he's still alive. he won. he faced them all and was the last one standing, breathing and now healing. relief that it might be over. relief that he had all the support and love around him to come out of stronger. bakugou will be fine. it overwhelms the half-devil, the rush of raw sentiments when those toxic thoughts are muted down, and the bigger picture comes in. it is so hard to see the positive when your heart is bleeding all the time, but when it comes ... god, it's so warm in his soul. with that, denji's shoulders hunched a bit; the thick air eased out of his lungs, cheeks a bit flushed. ]
I was so scared ... [ he kept his head low, fingers curling a bit tighter around bakugou's now, still careful not to squeeze so hard. ] ... I knew you were gone instantly. I didn't see it happen, but I felt it. I felt you leave. Your side of the bed wasn't even warm ... it was cold ... it's like you were never there. It was like it was all a dream. I knew one day this would happen ... but I never thought it would hurt ... that much ...
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maybe. maybe physical contact is a way to escape, but isn't it the same for everyone else? isn't it normal to want to be close to the people you love when you're hurting? seeking their touch and warmth to soothe the distress from within. it's only human. however, there is a thin line between seeking solace and creating a coping mechanism for suppressing emotions. that's where denji tends to struggle, though. unsure of that blurred gap between trying to calm yourself and repression, often interpreting feeling a bit 'better' means there is no need to talk about it when, in reality, this is the right time to bring it out. still learning traumatizing events don't really go away with time or distraction. no, they linger, and after a while, they start poisoning one's heart. they are not meant to be confined and ignored. yeah, that's — one thing denji has yet to understand. ]
Katsuki ... you could never disappoint me. [ his expression softens, sad, yet he had no intention of taking away bakugou's right to feel that way. just because he didn't agree with it doesn't mean they're not valid. he stayed quiet, taking a moment to think. bakugou's friends are alive; maybe they're not fully healed and thriving yet, but the hard part might be over. he shifts his gaze lower, staring over those wounds, then over his injured arm. ] You're not dead. You won.
[ yeah, took him long enough, but it hits him now. bakugou is so young, younger than him, and yet he had to go through a huge war with enemies who are arguably stronger and more vicious than him ... and he's still alive. he won. he faced them all and was the last one standing, breathing and now healing. relief that it might be over. relief that he had all the support and love around him to come out of stronger. bakugou will be fine. it overwhelms the half-devil, the rush of raw sentiments when those toxic thoughts are muted down, and the bigger picture comes in. it is so hard to see the positive when your heart is bleeding all the time, but when it comes ... god, it's so warm in his soul. with that, denji's shoulders hunched a bit; the thick air eased out of his lungs, cheeks a bit flushed. ]
I was so scared ... [ he kept his head low, fingers curling a bit tighter around bakugou's now, still careful not to squeeze so hard. ] ... I knew you were gone instantly. I didn't see it happen, but I felt it. I felt you leave. Your side of the bed wasn't even warm ... it was cold ... it's like you were never there. It was like it was all a dream. I knew one day this would happen ... but I never thought it would hurt ... that much ...